Precious Pieces

Let's pretend my last post wasn't from March and that I was indeed just in a writer's block state and couldn't possibly put words to a post because I had nothing to say...ok some of that is true - but it's mostly an excuse.

I have too much homework. I need to put laundry away. Dishes. Dogs. Dust. Clean. . . go ahead and fill in the blanks of things that always need to be done daily, weekly, monthly...and those things I have let be my priority. I have let things of little importance (okay, not the family and the dogs) take away pieces of me so that I am completely distracted from what truly matters. Pieces of my soul that need to breathe.

Sweet relief, joy, contentment, satisfaction, happiness, and maybe some sadness are all wrapped up inside me. They are all there for various reasons, some intertwined. School will be over in 4 days. 4. Is it wrong to count them down? Joy, relief, and satisfaction that I have finally come to this place of being finished (hopefully for a VERY long time), some sadness because there is a part of me that loves learning? I also think there is a bit of anxiety now; I am done, so that now means a full time job of some sort is expected by so many that love me dearly. Anxiety and fear that it will not happen is slowly crowding into my sweet relief that is overflowing because I am soooooo close to being done but sooooo far away from that end goal of a full time teaching job. . .

Why is it that our natural tendency is to worry over the things we have NO control of?

Precious pieces. . . of who I am . . . who God wants me to be. . . who I can be in Him. . . there is still so much room for change and growing and yet here I am in this place of feeling not like myself? Don't worry, I don't understand it either. Hopefully that will be remedied soon, but until it is, here I muddle in the thoughts and prayers -sometime silent- places in my heart that ponder that question above that I think may cause all this unnecessary muddling....

Temporary Fix; reading other friend's blogs, and some I am subscribed to but I do not really know them. It is like letting in some fresh air after the house has been closed up for a whole winter and it's finally warm enough to let in a breeze. I have found two in particular that are especially refreshing and encouraging and words cannot even begin to express my gratitude and thankfulness for their openness in their writing.  A la Mode and ChattingAttheSky...thank you.